Hey! It’s my 21st birthday today! Throughout my twenty-one years of existence, I learned a lot. As I was writing this a day before my birthday, I looked back on my younger years and realize everything that I’ve been through. All those lessons that life brings you, will serve as your guiding light to move forward in every step that you make towards your future. All I can say to myself is, I am proud because you overcome it all. You are such a strong and independent woman now. Hopefully, this inspires everyone.

1. Organization is everything.

Having your life organized makes things 100% easier, smoother, and better. Time Management is a must, especially if you have a lot of responsibility to do. Having a planner and do bullet journal helps me. Clean and organized room, phone, books, working area, and a closet is the best.

2. It’s okay to cut people if it’s no longer contribute to your personal growth.

Walk away from toxic people. Find the courage and be brave enough to leave if they are constantly bringing you down or making you feel bad about yourself. Recently, I just declutter my social media and it gives me peace. It’s okay to walk away from anything or anybody who makes you feel less than. Always protect your inner peace at all costs.

3. it’s not your mission to make somebody change or better. It is your responsibility to make yourself better.

Before, this was my mindset. Do not take that person as your mission. That’s not true. You will only just suffer in the end. You can’t change people. If there’s a problem with their attitude, well that’s not your responsibility. It is your responsibility to see after yourself. If they do not want to grow with you, well it is not your cargo anymore. You can’t please everyone to change themselves for you. You’re not a therapist and you’re worth is not depend on a person, always remember that.

4. Always know your PRIORITIES. We are not getting younger anymore.

Stick to your goals. The Adulting stage is not that FUN anymore, so ACT YOUR AGE. There’s no room for play anymore. At this age, you will realize everything and will come to your senses and ask yourself, “Is this the future that I want for me?” What I mean is, you have a lot of responsibilities as you grow older and you will learn what more matters to you.

5. When having a bad day, allow yourself to feel sad and cry as you want, and THAT IS OKAY.

Always remember that “It is just a bad day, not a bad life.” It’s okay to feel sad and grief. Your feelings are valid. Embrace that grieving process. There’s no shortcut in healing. You’re broken, wounded and bleeding, hurt, down but at the end of the day, this is the beautiful promise that I can share with u that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. There’s still a chance to redeem your beauty. There’s still hope for you to be healed. Read number 8 again.

6. It’s not bad to change your playlist. What I mean is, try different things too.

It’s okay to change your mind and it is normal. It’s okay and normal to change your decisions. Stop listening to that playlist especially if it always makes you wonder why you are constantly unhappy and it affects the mindset that you have. It’s time to dance again, try to listen to new songs and it is good – it can change the way you perceive life.

7. STOP making yourself ALWAYS AVAILABLE. It is okay to SAY NO, sometimes.

This is what I realized recently, learn to say no sometimes. If you think you don’t have time or desire to do it, then don’t accept it. It’s okay to say NO to some opportunities, events, favors, etc., not everything is meant for you. You need to take a break sometimes. You don’t need to say YES always in every commitment. Weigh your options! You don’t have to be BUSY to be WORTHY.

8. Healing is not LINEAR. And always remember that your feelings are valid.

Through the healing process, it means you’ll have ups as well as down, then ups again and then downs, and it’s okay. It is not quickly so do not rush. Remember, progress is still progress, no matter how small it is. One step at a time. Allow yourself to grieve. Trust the process and remember the cycle of a butterfly. Embrace your season. You are like a butterfly in a cocoon. You’ll fly again soon.

9. Stop sabotaging your own progress. You define your own success.

You create and define your success. Do not compare your progress to other. Everyone has their life moves at different rates. At this age, some people and my friends are getting married, starting their own family, others having their own business, having their cars and others creating a start up. Everyone’s life is moving at different rates and we have different timeline. Small progress are still progress too. You just have to wait and pray for your timing.

10. All your hardships towards your dreams will pay off.

If you are struggling right now in your university life or academic life or any struggles what you have, working at the same time and fulfulling your responsibilities as the eldest like me, someday it will all be worth it. The sweetest fruit of your labor is waiting for you. The Lord knows your struggles and He hears your heart. I’ll tell you, you’ll get there.

11. Get out of your comfort zone. Do things when you first want to do it.

If you want to do something that makes you happy then go for it. There are a lot of things in my bucket list that I never had the chance to do so. Life is too short, and you only live once. I should have just done it before because we can never go back in time. But once you have the chance, grab it. You should not depend on what other’s opinion. If that what you feels right and best for you, THEN GO!

Related : If you are doubting yourself, read this.

12. Invest more of yourself. Buy things for yourself and do not feel guilty about it.

Whenever I got an achievement even small things or not, I always reward myself. Buying an ice cream, shop online or buying myself a new shade of lipstick or liptint from Watsons Store, it is okay. Do not feel guilty especially if that money comes from your sweat and not came from your parents. It is not selfish if you spends money for the improvement of yourself.

13. Stop pleasing people. Stop chasing. That’s not worth it!

You should never have to beg somebody to stay in your life. If they are comfortable to live life without you in it, walk away. You live for yourself first. Take time for yourself once in a while. Whether it’s a friend, a family, or a significant other, some people don’t stay in our life. Everybody changes and chooses different paths. It is your responsibility. You should know your worth. Never let them take away your yellow.

14. Not all the time, you are right. Learn how to be a good listener too.

This perfectionist Virgo in me is cringing. Learn to accept mistakes. There will be times where you fail, reject, and feel disappointed. If you don’t succeed at first, try again. Also, it is important in every relationship with other people. Learn to listen too, you learn nothing from life if you are always correct. Learn to admit mistakes too and that won’t make you less as a person.

15. Do not rush things. Don’t get be excited to be an adult. You can’t go back to your time. So try not to waste it.

I always told this to my younger sister. When you finally reach this age of adulting, you’ll get a lot more responsibilities. Most of the time, you don’t have enough time to enjoy things because you are starting to be a busy person. You only have 7 summers as a teenager, do not rush to be an adult. You still have a lot of time to enjoy. You can bleach your hair, join a cheer dance squad, learn to play an instrument, do some arts or whatever you want to do that makes you happy, DO IT! Focus more on your self-improvement because once you reach this point and life brings you more responsibility, you can never go back again. (It can somehow, but there are a lot of things you need to consider).

16. Don’t apologize for choosing yourself. Self-love is not selfish.

You should always pursue a better version of yourself. Self-care and rest are so important. You cannot serve another cup if you are empty. Put yourself first in every situation. It is never selfish to take the time to learn to love yourself. It’s about time to spend more on yourself; to do what’s best for you.

17. Money Tips: Not because it is SALE, Buy 1 Take 1 or any other promos and free shipping, that means you have to buy it. NO!

Here’s what I learned from my mom. Be practical. Always save. You don’t know what will happen for tomorrow — as she always said. I somehow learned to be an economist, good decision making in prioritizing my needs over wants. It helps and works and that is the great tip especially now I am on my TITA Stage.

18. It’s okay if you still don’t know where life is taking you.

I started my online class for about 2weeks now, and our teacher asked us, “How do you see yourself 5years from now?.” It is quite a striking question for me. And then I realized that it is okay if you are still figuring out and if you are still on the process of self-reflection. I don’t know what the future awaits for me but I trust more the plans of God because He has bigger plans for me rather than what I planned.

19. Surround yourself with positive people and it’s okay to meet new kinds of people.

Meeting new kinds of people helps me grow as an individual. I love engaging and meeting new kinds of people, from that I am learning from their different perspectives in life too. Being surrounded by positive people who will lead you and help you to achieve a better version of yourself are the best kind of people in the world! Allow yourself to grow and learn more because the world never stops teaching. Stick to those kinds of people.

20. Learn to accept and love all your flaws and imperfections. Perfection doesn’t exist.

I spent so much time and cried when I was younger because I compare myself to other girls of the same age as mine. They have better skin, body, hair, and even lives. But then, when I get matured and understand things, I realized that perfection is just an illusion. But when you start to love yourself, there are still more beautiful in you. Every single person has its flaws too. Embrace yourself. You are beautiful in your way. You don’t have to change just to fit the standards of society. It is still the heart of a person that matters.

Related: Read this especially for ladies.

21. There’s no point in dwelling on the past and your regrets.

It’s just a waste of time. Everyone makes mistakes and then regret decisions. Do not feel bad about yourself. Use that lesson to make better decisions in the future. It is not easy to escape, it’s not that easy to cut your leash. But what if it is just the only way for you to run away free and move forward? Run into that darkness with your map, your new candle as a source of your light, and the destination you’ve always prayed for. It’s about time to move forward and use that as a challenge to be the better version of yourself. I am praying for the healing of everyone.

Those are 21 Things I Learned Before Turning 21

Honestly, these 21 lessons are not enough and I want to write about a million lessons this far in my 21 years of existence. I don’t know if this person will be the same person in the next decades, however as of the moment I am focusing on my personal growth and I’ll keep trying to be the best version of me and live my best life.
I really hope everyone enjoyed reading this. Here’s to another year of life! And Welcome to the Adulting stage of my life! So here’s to Year 21! Chhhheeerrrrssss……